djst's nest » rant http://djst.org/blog David Tenser's brand new microblog Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:02:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 Recipe for keynote success http://djst.org/blog/2009/06/06/recipe-for-keynote-success/ http://djst.org/blog/2009/06/06/recipe-for-keynote-success/#comments Sat, 06 Jun 2009 07:58:28 +0000 David Tenser http://djst.org/blog/2009/06/06/recipe-for-keynote-success/
  • Gain the trust of your audience by keeping one hand in your pocket while presenting.
  • Inspire the audience by making sure your slides are mostly text-only.
  • Avoid spell checking your slides to make sure embarrassing typos like “probietary” are kept in the slides. But don’t stop there; throw in a few totally incomprehensible typos as well, such as “probierory procuct”.
  • Insert a picture of random smiling business corporate looking ladies. Everyone knows how powerful this is in presentations — even more so than ClipArt.
  • Put the picture in front of the text to ensure that some of the text ends up behind the picture.
  • Have a slide bravely titled “The Essence of Open Source” listing nothing but a few random notes about what some people think, and a reference to the company you’re a CEO of. See also #3 above.
  • Make a bold scientific claim with no evidence whatsoever, and end it with “Can this be really true – effect.”
  • Prove the validity of your theories by claiming that you “realized this a few days ago… or maybe a couple of weeks ago when I was discussing with a venture capitalist.”

    • That’s it! Just follow these simple steps and you will blow your audience away.

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