Tag Archives: rant

Recipe for keynote success

  1. Gain the trust of your audience by keeping one hand in your pocket while presenting.
  2. Inspire the audience by making sure your slides are mostly text-only.
  3. Avoid spell checking your slides to make sure embarrassing typos like “probietary” are kept in the slides. But don’t stop there; throw in a few totally incomprehensible typos as well, such as “probierory procuct”.
  4. Insert a picture of random smiling business corporate looking ladies. Everyone knows how powerful this is in presentations — even more so than ClipArt.
  5. Put the picture in front of the text to ensure that some of the text ends up behind the picture.
  6. Have a slide bravely titled “The Essence of Open Source” listing nothing but a few random notes about what some people think, and a reference to the company you’re a CEO of. See also #3 above.
  7. Make a bold scientific claim with no evidence whatsoever, and end it with “Can this be really true – effect.”
  8. Prove the validity of your theories by claiming that you “realized this a few days ago… or maybe a couple of weeks ago when I was discussing with a venture capitalist.”

That’s it! Just follow these simple steps and you will blow your audience away.